Christmas – two views

This week’s Private Eye  Michel Houellebecq and Bernard-Henri Levy conversing on the subject of Christmas in the style of their recent book of exchanges. Or rather, Craig Brown’s imagining of this. Private Eye doesn’t do much online, so here is “Houellebecq” on Santa transcribed by dilligent me:

“Christmas, my dear Bernard-Henri, is, as we know, loathsome, terrifying. That fat man with the snowy white beard in the shitty red suit forcing himself down the chimney uninvited and unanounced is no better than a Nazi, invading the homes of the unsuspecting pack, who, typically, prostrate themselves before this invasion by placing biscuits, glasses of whisky, etc. etc. as though to welcome him.

And what does this fat self-centred fraud bring for me in his sack? A party hat? Who wants a party hat? A few years ago, I might have attempted to extract some tiny drip of pleasure by placing it upon my cock, which is certainly big enough to take it, just as Dostoyevsky might have done, but any pleasure I took in this supreme act of defiance against the fate of mankind would, alas, be hideously momentary. Heavy shit.”

Brilliant.

The opposing outlook comes, once again, from Half Man Half Biscuit’s equally brilliant It’s Cliche’d To Be Brilliant At Christmas. This time though, with a rather nice video. Merry Xmas all.

 

 

 

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